You’re now about the size of a wild raspberry. Your hand is about the size of a biro pen dot. Your spine continues to grow and your eyes start to develop… it’s in Mum’s app so it must be true.

While we were at the doctors last time they took a bit of blood to run some routine tests. On Friday just gone Mum got the results from the lab with the doctors notes: everything is fine, everything is normal, there’s no need to worry about anything at all – or something to that effect. At the time Mum got the results I was at rugby… Oh yeah, I coach rugby as I’m too old and a bit banged up from a lifetime as a player. I coach 3 Women’s 7’s rugby teams at Dubai Sports City RFC – we did very well in 3 friendly games by winning all three games and only leaking 1 try across all games. This was rather pleasing as we had done a lot of training on defense over the previous weeks.

Anyway… Mum sends me a Whatsapp saying she has received the results and has just emailed them to me. So when I get a minute I reply ‘for the love of God DO NOT Google the results’. Her reply ‘too late, I already have’. FFS! (*hand slapping my forehead emoji). And guess what? The doctor was right all along!

I obviously had a few beers after the game. They were pretty tasty and I was knocking them back until I get this message from Mum ‘So you’re staying out all night then?’ In case you don’t know this is Mum code for ‘I’m bored, I’m not enjoying not being able to go out, I’m not a fan of my own company anyway… please come home’. To be fair I’d had enough so off I trot to get a taxi home. The conversation was a bit murky but I do remember having some good chat and was told I was very cute the next day – result!

Speaking of the next day… poor Mum had a bit of breakdown. She’s suffering from a bit if cabin fever… well actually a lot of cabin fever. At this point it’s tough to go out socially because you have to keep this amazing secret that you really want to tell everyone you know – and a few strangers and all. The lying and misdirection is exhausting especially as its people you know and care about and most of whom know the struggle we had to get to this point in the first place.

 The ‘breakdown’ itself was a bit comical. It went a little like this:

Mum: ‘Organise something for us to do, I’ve cabin fever and want to get out of this fucking house!’

Dad: ‘How about this?’

Mum: ‘Ok, let’s do that’

Mum: ‘No, I don’t want to do that anymore’

Dad: ‘Ok, let’s go to the cinema to watch The Kingsmen’

Mum: ‘Ok, let’s go to the cinema’

Dad: ‘This is where it is and when it is’ (I had a specific window)

Mum: ‘No! I don’t want to go to that cinema

Dad: ‘But that’s the only time it’s on’

Mum: ‘I don’t care’… followed by a few tears then everything was fine.

All the above took place over about a 9 minute period. It seemed like longer and I thought it was going to take longer. Thankfully it didn’t and I think we went to see The Kingsmen the following day… it wasn’t as good as the first one. Sequels are shit.

You’re coming up to 9 weeks now Bean. I forget what size comparison that is for now. Mum clearly hasn’t been on her apps  to keep me fully informed. I’m obviously not able to do that for myself whilst I’m writing these very important entries for you☺.

The weirdest thing happened the other day… every morning I make Mum a tasty mug of warm lemon water. It’s part of my morning routine: get up around 6am to walk Rusty (your soon to be BFF), before going out I neck a pint of warm lemon water, come back and have a cuppa, feed the dog, make breakfast for myself (Mum isn’t getting up at the moment she’s sleeping a little more while you’re baking) then take Mum up her lemon water… well, not anymore! After years of it she’s decided that she doesn’t like it anymore – hahahahaha. Saves me a job!

Next week we have our next visit to the doctor. We’re to do this thing called a panorama test. A similar thing is done at 12 weeks to check that you don’t have Downs Syndrome. What we’re doing is having this panorama test a little after nine weeks which tests for the same thing by using DNA and… it can also let us know if you are a boy or girl Bean. Mum is completely undecided if she wants to know… I definitely want to know. It’s likely Mum will win that discussion but I’ll keep you posted.

BTW, these tests are a bit fucking nerve racking. I mean, the chances of any abnormalities are absurdly low but dark thoughts start to creep in to your mind. Anyway, we crack on.