As predicted, I thoroughly enjoyed the hospitality. Maybe even a little too much as Mum and I nipped off a wee bit earlier than closing time. Obviously I blamed the night flight that I hadn’t fully recovered from… it may have also been the 2 hours in the mansion ‘anxious drinking’ champagne. Whoops!

So that was your first international trip little man… how about it?! We also got a taste of what it’s going to be like to travel with you… a baby. Fuck! All we bought back was a push chair, albeit a bloody nice push chair (it’s cheaper to order online in England and get stuff sent to Grandma England’s place). There were way too many questions surrounding how we were planning to return to Dubai with it and for the first time in probably forever I have to actually use one of them airport trolleys. I reckon Mum is already fretting about travelling to England over the summer with you… that’s why she’s getting Grandma over for a while – so she can assist with the journey.

In other news, we’re moving to a bigger house in a few weeks. A nice 3 bedroom gaff with maid’s room (storage!). Mum nearly wet herself when we walked in… ‘I love it, I love it, I want it, I want it’. This will be your first ever house. I hope you like it!

This app that Mum uses is clearly an American app when she describes your growth updates to me every Monday morning (Seppo… Septic Tank… Yank… American!) as you’re now the size of a dill pickle. How bloody big is a dill pickle? Fucked if I know either! I assume slightly bigger than an avocado. The 2 things that stuck in my mind from Mum’s regular Monday chat were that you should be starting to hear things now… cue the classical music downloads – Grandma NZ reckons Baroque is the one that’s going to make you a clever clogs. I’ll save you a long winded explanation… Google it! The other thing was that you may start kicking. Although I doubt that will be for a few weeks yet as Mum’s stomach muscles are clearly good and tight and she’s hardly showing a bump yet. She’s an athlete!

One last thing before I sign this one off… in England we had our first bit of ‘panic’. Mum sneezed in the night and it produced a pretty sharp pain in the side of her stomach… it’s all OK though as it was just a sign of the connective tissues starting to expand around her tummy. Although in future she should sneeze sat up and ideally with her legs together… the danger is later down the track she might pee her pants. #funnynotfunny #gladmendonthavebabies