Right there Jack (that still sounds fucking weird in my head. You’re name makes it all seem a hell of a lot more real – in a fantastic way of course). We had ‘THE’ scan on the weekend just gone. As described before this is where the doctor gets a good look at you – and she certainly took her time to make sure all was in good order. Brain, kidneys, liver, heart function and sound, cleft pallet… bloody hell! You’re in the clear, kid. There were no markers for anything for us to be concerned about. Long may that continue.

BTW, in one of the scans you were giving us a bit of attitude by giving us the middle finger. You cheeky bugger ☺

At the minute Mum is on the case with pre-natal classes. We’re due to start them in a few weeks and fuck me… there is some raft of options. Standard pre-natal, hypnobirthing, standard pre-natal plus some hypno, standard pre-natal plus some hypno plus one session of post-birth care and on and on. Apparently pre-natal hypno is the dogs bollox so we’re definitely going to be doing that. Jen (Mum’s BFF) has already sent us a link to an audio file that we need to start listening to in preparation. Her and Nick did it with Felix and he’s the business so it can’t hurt to give it a go right? I think it’s now a case of what are we going to add on… maybe we should have all of it as between us we probably have only half a fucking clue what to do once we get you back from the hospital. The good news for you is Mum and I are quick learners.

FYI: the house is still a shit tip of a fuckin mess.

As you know we are in the middle of sorting out the (your!) house and moving from a 1 bed to 3 bed makes it pretty bloody stressful. TBH I’ve about had a fucking nough. The landscapers have finally finished after a minor cluster fuck with security access BUT, there’s still a few problems that need to be sorted. The furniture we ordered a few weeks ago finally arrived last night BUT, the cushion cover is the wrong colour. Fuck! The TV cabinet arrived BUT, no worries on that one – it fits… just. Thank God!

I saw mum typing away furiously last night. Looked like she was smashing out a list of things to do and things to buy and it looked pretty extensive… bollox! Right now I’d just like a day off and not have to do any ‘chores’ and not have a single thought about how fucking long that list is… and watch some rugby… and drink some beer!

This conversation sounds a bit shit doesn’t it… moaning old bastard! Just got off the phone with your Mum and we have some good news… Dah dah daaaaahhhhhhh: Irish has said she’d be interested in a full time live out nanny position with us. You probably don’t quite understand but Irish is our cleaner of about 6-8 years. We haven’t seen her for a while as she’s been away looking after her new born son who’s about a year old now. And what you really don’t get is she – is – a – fucking – legend! As discussed previously I was expecting us to jump straight in to a live in nanny arrangement but this is a game changer. Mum loves her, I love her, Rusty loves her and I expect her offer means she loves us… oh yes! Maybe she can help me with this fucking ball ache of a chore list ☺